If you’re here, chances are you didn’t choose this life- it showed up anyway.

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You didn’t cause the addiction.

 

You can’t control it.

 

And no, you’re not crazy (even if you’ve been told you are).

 

This page isn’t about fixing anyone. It’s about supporting you- the person carrying the emotional luggage, holding it together, and Googling things at 3am that no one warned you about.

 

Some of these resources helped us. Some we wish we’d found sooner. Take what you need. Leave what you don’t. Come back when the chaos flares up again.

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If You’re Loving an Addict

 

You may recognize yourself if you:

 

• Have memorized rehab intake forms

• Know the difference between “he’s tired” and “she’s lying”

• Can spot relapse behavior faster than TSA spots liquids

• Feel guilty for being angry and angry for feeling guilty

 

 

You’re not weak. You’re exhausted.

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START HERE:

 

• Recovery Education

• Al-Anon & Nar-Anon – Support for families and loved ones​

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Therapy (For You. Not Them.)

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• Dr Audrey Freshman PhD,LCSW,CASAC
  516-410-3131

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Let’s be clear: therapy isn’t about learning how to save someone else.

It’s about learning how to save yourself without abandoning your heart.

 

Look for therapists who specialize in:

 

• Addiction-affected families

• Trauma & betrayal

• Codependency & boundary work

 

If you don’t know where to start:

 

• Psychology Today therapist finder

• Open Path Psychotherapy (lower-cost options)

• Ask specifically: “Do you work with partners of addicts?”

  (It matters.)

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Crisis Support (When Things Get Scary)

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If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, please get help now.

 

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline – Call or text 988 (US)

• Emergency Services – If there is immediate risk

• Local crisis centers – If you need someone in the room, not just on the phone

 

You are allowed to take this seriously.

You are allowed to protect yourself.

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Legal & Financial Reality Checks

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Marc Stein, The Alber Firm

(New York Residents)

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No one tells you this part — but addiction has legal and financial consequences for spouses and partners, even if you didn’t sign up for the chaos.

You may want to consult:

 

• A family or divorce attorney familiar with addiction issues

• A financial advisor who understands joint liability

• A therapist who can help you prepare emotionally for hard decisions

 

Knowledge doesn’t mean you’re leaving.

It means you’re not flying blind.

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Books We Wish Someone Had Handed Us Earlier

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• Codependent No More – Melody Beattie

• Addiction in the Family -  Louise Stanger EDD LCSW

• An Addict in the House - Robin Barnett

• Six Dimes and a Nickle - Damon West

• Boundaries for Adult Children of Alcoholics - Felicity Paulman

• Understanding and Helping an Addict - Dr Andrew Proulx

 

Read at your own pace. Some chapters hit harder than others.

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From Us to You

 

This page will grow — just like this community.

 

If you have a resource that helped you survive, laugh, or breathe again, we want to hear about it.

You didn’t pack this baggage.

But you don’t have to carry it alone.

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Need Help? We're Here!